The Skary Skelly 2015 Halloween Album 

Happy Halloween, kids! It's just like the goldfish's funeral. Somebody stop me.

H alloween or Hallowe'en is a contraction of "All Hallows Eve.” Hallows is Gaelic for “saints” (“holy ones,” literally). So, All Saints Eve. Like Christmas Eve. (Nov. 1st is All Saints Day.)

And a holy day of obligation in the Catholic Church, meaning you have to go to mass just like on Sunday. Only we never made you go because we weren’t very good Catholics. Technically, it kicks off the three-day religious observance dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints, martyrs and all the faithful departed believers. (Nov. 2nd is All Souls Day.)

Primarily a Christian observance, Halloween is celebrated mainly in the US and Canada these days and evidently Ireland, too, where it supposedly all started. "El Dia de los Muertos."is a decidedly different and more somber affair.

Halloween is one of the world’s oldest holidays, although why they call it a holiday is hard to understand. Nobody ever got off from work or school for it. Although Catholic schools gave you all Saints Day off, which I always considered one of the chief advantages of growing up Catholic. We generally weren’t allowed out on school nights, and trick or treating (both) were decidedly nighttime activities.

Typical Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, attending costume parties, decorating the house and yard with increasingly large, expensive and ersatz displays, carving jack-o'-lanterns, bobbing for apples and drinking to excess. All of which you are all old enough to have experienced first-hand.

And talking about the state of the US economy and what politicians are trying to do to ruin it.

Unemployment stands at 5.1 percent (down from 5.9 percent last year). And even John Boehner has given up asking, "Where are the jobs?” Right now he’s one of the few without one, although he’ll probably have no trouble finding a new one, assuming, unlike everyone on welfare, he really wants to.

The Federal government’s fiscal year (FY’15) closed Sept. 30. Revenues were $3.249 trillion, up 8 percent. Spending was $3.685 trillion, up 5 percent. The deficit was $435 billion, the smallest since 2007 and at 2.4 percent of GDP slightly below the average of the past 50 years. Which is why even the most obdurate Republicans no longer complain Obama is spending us into the poor house.

Now the complaint is that he still hasn’t got into a land war in Syria. And Putin has. Americans: they’re never satisfied.

How bad have things gotten? The House's 40-member Conservative Freedom Caucus has had to recruit Planned Parenthood as poster child for their annual "Shut Down the Government" drive this year. Oh, the humanity!

A majority of Americans, who still believe the economy is getting worse, are probably going to be too distracted with Halloween preparations to take much notice of a government shut down. Busy putting in place their own economic stimulus package. Consumers are expected to spend an average of $74.34 apiece this Halloween. That's down a litle from last year, but total spending should still reach $6.9 billion.

🎃 An estimated 68 million Americans will dress up for Halloween. They plan to spend an average of $27.33 on costumes for a total of $2.5 billion. They'll spend $1.2 billion on adult costumes and $950 million on children’s costumes.
🎃 What accounts for the rest? 20 million pet owners will spend $350 million to dress up their pets.
🎃 93.7% will buy candy, spending a total of $2.1 billion. 33.5 percent will buy greeting cards, spending a total of $330 million.
🎃 44.8% plan to decorate their home or yard, spending an average $20.34, with the total expected to reach $1.9 billion
🎃 31.5% plan to throw or attend a party with friends and family.
🎃 41 percent plan to carve pumpkins.

Try to stay safe tonight. But don't be afraid to go out and spread a little cash around. Why not head over to Planned Parenthood and see what they've got to offer? Theyre going to need the dough if they do get defunded. While you're there take in some seasonal cult rituals. (See story below.) Get in the spirit.


(How many trick or treaters can you find hiding under these photos?)

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Tonight's Top Stories / Personality Disorder Edition
Satanic temples are hidden in Planned Parenthood clinics as ‘legal cover’ for child sacrifice
Oct 8, 2015
By David Edwards, Raw

Pastor Jim Bakker and the guests on his show asserted this week that Satanic worship services were taking place in some Planned Parenthood clinics, which were being used a legal cover for the ritual sacrifice of children.

On Thursday’s episode of the Jim Bakker Show, co-host Zach Drew observed that “the most dangerous place for a human to be in America today [is] inside the mother’s womb.”

According to co-host Lori Bakker, one in five “babies” — and one in two African-American “babies” — were aborted in the United States. And she argued that Planned Parenthood had purposefully placed clinics in the black community because the organization’s founder, Margaret Sanger, was a racist who believed that blacks should die.

Although the Sanger myth has been debunked numerous times, guest pastor Rick Wiles and Jim Bakker both agreed.

“And we think, what’s going on the black community, that black lives matter — and they do! My God, they do!” Jim Bakker exclaimed. “Every life matters. Black lives matter in the womb. Let’s find out where the real enemies are!”

“The real reason Planned Parenthood has abortions in the black community is because the founder of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, was a racist,” Wiles opined. “She’s the founding mother of eugenics. And she taught that blacks should be eliminated.”

“Planned Parenthood means kill the babies so that’s the plan,” Jim Bakker replied.

“They’re natal Nazis,” Wiles added. “It’s a pile of babies almost 70 million babies tall, mountains and mountains and mountains of babies,” Jim Bakker said. “This is why God’s judgement is coming.”

The pastor noted that creationism had to be true because “there are no accidental babies.”

“You are sitting here talking about this and I think you have — your eyes are there,” Jim Bakker said, pointing at Wiles. “They’re not below your mouth. Your mouth didn’t somehow land up [on your forehead]. If this was all accidental, you know, you’d have an ear there.”

Wiles said that a former Satanist told him that he “performed 164 Satanic rituals inside of abortion clinics.”

“Absolutely!” Lori Bakker chimed in. “I can’t prove it because I wasn’t there… I will tell you, especially on Halloween, that many many many many Satanic rituals — abortion rituals — are performed. It’s the truth.”

“I’ve had women sit as close as Jim is to me, as you are to me, crying, screaming from their innermost being because they were in those Satanic rituals where their babies were aborted,” she insisted.

Wiles claimed that his former Satanist friend said that “sacrificing a human life is the greatest thing that they can do for Lucifer.”

“Because murder is illegal, they have to find a way to have a sacrifice that are human,” Wiles continued. “And so because America has abortion, therefore, their doing these human sacrifices in an abortion clinic because it gives them a legal covering.”

“The anti-christ spirit is loose,” Jim Bakker declared. “You know, I believe the first horse of the apocalypse is the Satanic — the white horse, this apocalyptic being is the spirit of anti-christ. And it is riding, this spirit is here.”

“Satan has always wanted to be God. And he can’t create so he wants to kill God’s creations.”

Police uncover house of horrors in Florida
September 17, 2015
By Casey Cumley, WTSP-TV, Tampa

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. -- You may never look at your neighbor's home the same way again after this story.

"My family has been through hell for two years with this woman," said Paula Deford, who says her neighbor 47-year-old Nickcole Dykema was caught on her surveillance video attacking her home with a knife twice in recent weeks. "It's just been torment, torment."

Parole officers arrived at Dykema's home in the 12100 block of Eldorado Avenue Tuesday night to serve multiple felony warrants. They had no idea the house of horrors that awaited them.

When Sergeant Chris Calderon arrived, he said Dykema looked directly at him through a broken window of the house and then disappeared back into the home. Calderon gave commands for her to come out, but she only responded with obscenities and told officers to "leave her property."

At that point, officers called the sheriff's office for reinforcements. When they arrived the officers decided to force their way inside, at which point, Dykema reportedly grabbed a large sword, or machete, and tried to stab Sergeant Calderon, missing his face and head by only inches. She then disappeared into another part of the house.

"He [Sgt. Calderon] would have been well within his rights legally, morally and ethically to use deadly force on her," said Hernando County Sheriff Al Nienhuis.

Deputies eventually found a set of feet standing in the corner of the mobile home, possibly hiding under or behind a blanket. They then saw a long, silver, shiny sword waving around behind the blanket and asked Dykema to come out with her hands up.

She refused and moved towards the deputies with the sword. Sergeant Bill Hillman deployed a bean bag round at her which had no effect. She fled into a room in the home that contained more than 500 bladed weapons.

Dykema armed herself with more blades and advanced toward the deputies. Another officer fired a bean bag round hitting her abdomen and thigh. She then retreated to another section of the home.

Deputies were staged at the front door behind shields as Dykema eventually emerged from behind a hanging blanket, advancing toward deputies.

Deputies ordered her to turn around so they could make sure she didn't have any weapons behind her back, but it appeared as if she was retreating back into her residence. That's when Corporal Stephen Miller deployed his Taser and Dykema fell to the ground.

She was quickly taken into custody by deputies on scene.

During inventory of Dykema's home, deputies found upwards of 2,000 bladed devices -- even an altar of some sort.

"I think most people would look at that and think that it does seem to at least mimic satanic worship," Nienhuis said.

On Wednesday, deputies brought out box after box of knives, blades, and swords. Sheriff Nienhuis says it could be hours before they process all the evidence which included "some Halloween-type things that are fake and even some bones that we feel are chicken bones," said Nienhuis. Deputies also found a pentagram and a ceiling fan with knives attached to it.

"I also think that it's not outside the realm of possibility that there's probably some mental illness here," said Nienhuis. "I know she's very dangerous," said Deford.

Deford said after seeing the parade of blades come from Dykema's home she has only one thought. "I'm lucky to be alive that's how I feel that's exactly how I feel."

This isn't the first time deputies had a confrontation with Dykema. In December 2014, they were called out to the Dollar Tree on Cortez Boulevard on suspicion of shoplifting. When deputies tried to get her into custody for providing a false name and date of birth, she resisted but was quickly subdued and detained.